How to Find a Godly Spouse in an Ungodly World (w/ topics of discussion and prayer)

In a world that often prioritizes material success, fleeting pleasure, and personal ambition over faith and commitment, finding a godly spouse can feel like a daunting task. Many desire a relationship built on biblical principles—one centered on love, faithfulness, and devotion to God. Thankfully, Scripture provides many examples of couples who found each other in challenging circumstances, teaching us valuable lessons about how to seek a godly relationship in an ungodly world.

Trusting God’s Timing: Adam and Eve (Genesis 2-3)

One of the earliest lessons we learn about marriage comes from Adam and Eve. When God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone, He created Eve as his perfect companion. This story reminds us that God is the ultimate matchmaker. He knows when and how to bring the right person into our lives. However, Adam and Eve’s story also teaches us that relationships require obedience and wisdom. Their disobedience led to sin entering the world, showing that when a couple fails to follow God’s direction, their relationship can suffer. When looking for a spouse, we must trust in God’s timing while remaining obedient to His will.

Seeking Character Over Convenience: Ruth and Boaz (Book of Ruth)

The story of Ruth and Boaz is a remarkable example of God’s provision through faithfulness. Ruth had lost her husband, yet she remained loyal to her mother-in-law, Naomi. She worked diligently in the fields and honored God in all she did. Boaz, a man of integrity, took notice of her hard work and righteousness. Their love story reminds us that a godly relationship is founded on character, kindness, and spiritual commitment rather than mere attraction or convenience. Instead of settling for someone based on superficial qualities, seek a partner whose heart aligns with God’s principles and who treats others with love and respect.

Following Divine Guidance: Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis 24)

Isaac and Rebekah’s marriage was orchestrated by God through Abraham’s servant. Before searching for a wife for Isaac, the servant prayed for divine guidance. When he met Rebekah, he recognized that God had answered his prayer. This story emphasizes the importance of seeking God’s wisdom in choosing a spouse. Prayer should be the foundation of our pursuit of a godly relationship. Rather than relying solely on personal preferences, we must surrender our desires to God and trust that He will lead us to the right person at the right time.

Patience and Perseverance: Jacob and Rachel (Genesis 29)

Jacob’s love for Rachel was so strong that he worked for her father, Laban, for fourteen years to marry her. His commitment teaches us the value of patience and perseverance in relationships. In today’s culture, instant gratification is often prioritized, but godly relationships require time, effort, and faith. Waiting for the right spouse may not always be easy, but Jacob’s story reminds us that God honors those who remain steadfast in their pursuit of righteousness and love.

Commitment and Purity: Joseph and Mary (Matthew 1:18-25)

Joseph and Mary’s relationship was tested when Mary became pregnant with Jesus by the Holy Spirit. Though Joseph initially planned to quietly separate from her, God revealed His divine plan, and Joseph chose to remain by Mary’s side, demonstrating true commitment and faith. Their story highlights the importance of honoring God’s plan over personal doubts or cultural expectations. Purity, integrity, and obedience to God should define a godly relationship. Like Joseph and Mary, we must trust in God’s purpose and remain committed to His will, even when faced with difficulties.

Conclusion: Finding a Godly Spouse in an Ungodly World

Finding a godly spouse in a world that often disregards biblical values requires faith, patience, prayer, and a commitment to righteousness. Each biblical couple teaches us valuable lessons—Adam and Eve remind us to trust God’s timing, Ruth and Boaz show the importance of character, Isaac and Rebekah emphasize seeking divine guidance, Jacob and Rachel highlight perseverance, and Joseph and Mary demonstrate purity and commitment.

Rather than conforming to worldly dating standards, we should pursue relationships with wisdom and prayer, seeking partners who honor God in their actions and hearts. When we remain faithful to God, He will guide us toward a relationship rooted in love, respect, and divine purpose.

Dr. D. Devon Griffin Author

All Rights Reserved

Topics of Discussion:

Here are four more self-reflection questions to help you evaluate your journey in seeking a godly spouse:

Am I becoming the kind of person that the godly spouse I am praying for would also be looking for?

This encourages introspection about personal growth and spiritual maturity in preparation for a future relationship.

Do my standards for a spouse align with biblical principles, or are they influenced by worldly expectations?

Helps you assess whether your priorities in finding a spouse are grounded in faith rather than external or superficial factors.

How am I using this season of waiting to deepen my relationship with God and prepare for marriage?

Reminds you that waiting is not idle time but an opportunity to develop spiritually and emotionally.

If God were to bring the right person into my life today, would I be ready for a relationship that honors Him?

Challenges you to evaluate your readiness for commitment and spiritual partnership.

These questions can guide thoughtful reflection as you seek a godly relationship.

Minister Michael & Lady Carmen Lewis Jeffries, Contributors

All Rights Reserved to GBE, Inc. Outreach

Practical Steps to Finding a Godly Spouse

Finding a godly spouse requires intentionality, patience, and faith. In today’s world, many distractions can make it challenging to stay focused on biblical principles while pursuing a meaningful relationship. Here are practical steps to help you navigate this journey with wisdom and faith:

1. Seek God First

Before searching for a spouse, strengthen your relationship with God. Matthew 6:33 instructs, "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." When God is at the center of your life, He will guide you in finding a partner who shares the same faith and values.

2. Pray for Guidance

Isaac’s marriage to Rebekah in Genesis 24 is a perfect example of seeking divine direction. His father’s servant prayed specifically for God’s guidance, and the right person was revealed. Likewise, ask God for wisdom in choosing a spouse. Pray for discernment, patience, and clarity as you enter relationships.

3. Cultivate Godly Character

Before expecting a godly spouse, work on becoming a godly person. The qualities of a faithful husband or wife—patience, kindness, humility, integrity—should be evident in your life. Proverbs 31 describes the qualities of a virtuous woman, and Ephesians 5:25 instructs men to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Develop these qualities within yourself before seeking them in another.

4. Be Active in Your Faith Community

Ruth met Boaz while serving faithfully in the fields, and many biblical marriages were rooted in shared faith. Engaging in church, Bible studies, and Christian gatherings increases the likelihood of meeting someone who shares your devotion to God. Surrounding yourself with believers allows you to build meaningful relationships based on shared values.

5. Be Patient and Trust God’s Timing

Jacob waited for Rachel for 14 years because he knew she was worth the wait. In contrast, impatience often leads to settling for relationships that do not align with God’s purpose. Trust that God will bring the right person at the right time rather than rushing into something out of fear or pressure.

6. Look for Spiritual Alignment Over Physical Attraction

Boaz admired Ruth’s loyalty and character before anything else. Many relationships today focus solely on attraction, but a godly marriage requires spiritual alignment, shared faith, and mutual purpose. While attraction is important, seek someone whose heart is set on following Christ.

7. Communicate with Wisdom and Intentionality

Clear, God-honoring communication is vital. Be honest, respectful, and intentional about your values and expectations in a relationship. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that "The tongue has the power of life and death." Speak life into your relationships, ensuring conversations remain uplifting and purposeful.

8. Set Boundaries and Honor Purity

Joseph and Mary demonstrated purity and commitment to God’s plan. Setting physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries helps guard your heart and maintain holiness. Avoid compromising situations and seek accountability to stay rooted in biblical values.

9. Seek Godly Counsel

Proverbs 11:14 states, "Where there is no guidance, the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory." Wise mentors, pastors, or Christian married couples can provide valuable advice and perspective in your search for a godly spouse.

10. Trust God's Plan Even When Waiting Feels Difficult

Sometimes, the wait for the right person can feel long. But God is always working in the background, preparing both you and your future spouse. Continue growing in faith, serving Him, and trusting that He will provide in His perfect timing.

Final Encouragement: Finding a godly spouse is not about perfection—it is about surrendering to God's plan and allowing Him to lead your heart. Stay faithful, be patient, and trust that God is preparing you for the right person just as He is preparing them for you.

Dr. D. Devon Griffin, Author

All Rights Reserved

Prayer for Guidance in Finding a Godly Spouse

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for being the author of love and the designer of relationships. You see my heart’s desires and know the path that lies ahead. I ask for Your divine wisdom and guidance as I seek a spouse who honors You. Teach me patience as I wait for the right person, and help me trust in Your perfect timing.

Lord, shape me into the kind of person who reflects Your love—humble, kind, faithful, and strong in faith. Let my heart be aligned with Your will, so that I do not settle for less than Your best. Protect me from relationships that would lead me away from You, and direct me to someone who will encourage me spiritually and love me as You love the Church.

May my search for a spouse be rooted in prayer, purity, and wisdom. Give me discernment to recognize genuine, godly character in others. Let my relationship be a testimony of Your grace and an instrument for Your glory.

I surrender this desire into Your hands, knowing that You are faithful in all things. I trust that You are preparing both me and my future spouse for a union that reflects Christ’s love and strengthens our faith.

In Jesus' name, I pray, Amen

Minister Michael & Lady Carmen Lewis Jeffries, Contributors

All Rights Reserved to GBE, Inc. Outreach

Here are scripture promises about marriage and relationships to encourage and strengthen your faith:

God’s Design for Marriage

Genesis 2:24 – "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

Mark 10:9 – "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

Love and Commitment

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

Ephesians 5:25 – "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

Respect and Honor in Relationships

Romans 12:10 – "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."

Ephesians 5:33 – "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

God’s Blessing Over Marriage

Proverbs 18:22 – "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord."

Psalm 128:3-4 – "Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Yes, this will be the blessing for the man who fears the Lord."

Strength in Difficult Times

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up."

Colossians 3:14 – "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."

These verses remind us that God is the foundation of marriage and relationships, and when we seek Him, He blesses and strengthens our unions.

Minister Michael & Lady Carmen Lewis Jeffries, Contributors

All Rights Reserved to GBE, Inc. Outreach

Devotional Thought: God’s Blueprint for Relationships

Relationships in today’s world can feel uncertain and complicated, but God has provided a divine blueprint for love and marriage. The Scriptures remind us that true love is not built on fleeting emotions, but on commitment, faith, and obedience to God’s Word.

When we seek a godly spouse, it’s important to remember that God’s timing is perfect. Just as He provided Eve for Adam, Rebekah for Isaac, and Ruth for Boaz, He knows exactly when and how to bring the right person into our lives. Rather than rushing into relationships based on worldly desires, we must seek first the kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33) and trust that He will provide according to His plan.

Marriage is a sacred covenant, not just between two people, but between the couple and God. It is built on love, sacrifice, and respect, reflecting Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:25). The verses we meditate on today emphasize that a godly marriage is founded on righteousness—where spouses support, encourage, and strengthen one another in faith.

If you are waiting for a spouse or preparing for marriage, let this be a time of spiritual growth and prayer, trusting that God will lead you. Surrender your heart to Him, seek wisdom in His Word, and allow Him to shape you into the person He is calling you to be.

God is faithful, and His plans are greater than anything we could imagine.

Dr. D. Devon Griffin, Author

Minister Michael & Lady Carmen Lewis Jeffries, Contributors

All Rights Reserved