Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

"Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible, but not everything builds up." (1 Corinthians 10:23)

There have been moments in my life when I had something powerful to say—something undeniably true, something that needed to be addressed. I felt the weight of revelation pressing on my heart, the urgency to speak, and the confidence that what I knew was right. But just because something is true doesn’t mean it is timely. The Lord Jesus Christ, in His wisdom, urged me to hold my tongue, but I disobeyed. I spoke when I should have remained silent, and the fallout left wounds that could not easily be repaired.

The Burden of Truth and Timing

Truth is a mighty force. It brings clarity, exposes darkness, and frees those who are enslaved by deception. Yet truth, when delivered without grace and wisdom, can also cut deeply. Words have power—not only to heal but also to wound. James 3:5-6 warns us, "The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark."

The lesson I learned is this: Sometimes, truth spoken at the wrong time causes more harm than good. The words I said were not lies, they were not malicious, but they were premature. They were spoken in frustration, rather than love. They were spoken in judgment, rather than grace. The Lord had tried to quiet my spirit, telling me to wait, but I disobeyed His prompting, convinced that the urgency of truth overruled the need for patience.

When Words Bring Damage

In my heart, I believed that speaking truth would bring healing, but instead, it brought destruction. Proverbs 18:21 declares, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Words that are spirit-led will build up, but words spoken from impulse—no matter how true—can tear down relationships, trust, and peace.

The truth I spoke was right, but my timing was wrong. What followed was hurt, division, and emotional wounds that might never fully heal. I had revealed something that should have been shared in God’s timing, with His wisdom guiding me. Instead, I acted on impulse rather than obedience. The aftermath was painful, not only for those around me but for myself as well.

Jesus’ Example of Silence

Jesus, the perfect example of wisdom, knew when to speak and when to remain silent. When standing before Pilate, He did not defend Himself (Matthew 27:12-14). When accused, He did not lash out. His silence was not weakness—it was intentional, strategic, and powerful. He understood that not every truth needs to be spoken in every moment.

There is wisdom in waiting. There is power in silence. There is divine strategy in choosing our words carefully. I learned this lesson the hard way, but Jesus had already demonstrated it long before I ever wrestled with it.

The Consequences of Disobedience

When we ignore the Holy Spirit’s prompting, we open the door to unnecessary consequences. Not everything permissible is beneficial (1 Corinthians 10:23). I was allowed to speak. I had the right to voice my thoughts. But just because I could didn’t mean I should.

The weight of my words was heavier than I anticipated. Instead of leading to understanding, they led to division. Instead of fostering healing, they brought pain. Instead of strengthening relationships, they caused ruptures. The reality is this: Words spoken outside of God’s timing can lead to destruction rather than redemption.

How to Discern When to Speak

So how do we know when to speak and when to remain silent?

Listen to the Holy Spirit – Before speaking, pray. Ask God for wisdom. If He prompts you to wait, trust His timing.

Consider the Impact – Will your words build up or tear down? Even truth, when spoken harshly, can wound.

Check Your Motive – Are you speaking to help or just to be heard? Are you delivering truth in love, or in frustration?

Follow Jesus’ Example – Jesus did not always speak, even when He had the right to. Learn from His restraint.

Practice Humility – If you’ve spoken out of turn, don’t be too proud to seek forgiveness and work toward healing.

Conclusion: Learning From My Mistakes

I have learned a painful but necessary lesson. Some things are better left unsaid—not because they aren’t true, but because they aren’t timely. The Lord’s wisdom surpasses our own, and when He prompts us to remain silent, it is for a reason. Truth spoken in the wrong season can cause damage that takes years to repair.

Yet, God is a redeemer. Even in my failures, He is teaching me, shaping me, and refining me. Moving forward, I will choose obedience over impulse. I will seek His timing rather than my own. And I will trust that God’s truth will always find its way—but in His way and His time, not mine.

Dr. D. Devon Griffin, Author

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